I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
