You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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