so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
