He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
