I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
