Slut skills are useful in every country.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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