12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i dont even know how to be here
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
