So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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