We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
