The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize