You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
