Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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