You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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