I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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