will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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