You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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