i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
