They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
