i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
