It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
