Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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