just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Someone came in the potted fern
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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