You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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