Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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