Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
soo... how was my night?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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