i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
