a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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