i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
