they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
