I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
