I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
