I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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