Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
