Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
