just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
