I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
