First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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