On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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