The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Houston, we have a blender
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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