She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
