Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
