We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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