did you get engaged???
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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