He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
