dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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