Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize