i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
