See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
