She is in my trunk
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
