I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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