I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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