Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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