Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize