went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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