I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
