The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
