I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
