I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
