i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize