I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
