i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
