i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
