hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize