one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
