woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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