I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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