I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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