dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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