I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize