Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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